When my friend asked me the reason why I don't feel like going for Hong Kong, I really want to tell him all that was in my mind. But I swallow it all back.

How to tell him that I cannot let go of all the people I love and I am really afraid that the simple life that I have now will change.

Especially my mum. She has been taking care of me so well that I don't know how I am going to survive without her. And I know she will be really worried when I am in overseas for such a long period of time. Was chatting with my another friend another day. She said that her mum cried even when she left for Taiwan for one week with her friends. Her mother is the same typical type as my mum, ever so caring, ever so worried about my safety, sometimes over-reacting.

My dear friends. I will miss them so much. When they told me not to go, it's really difficult for me to reject them. I really enjoy hanging out with them, laughing with them over the silly things, or just having them by my side.

Especially when this really good friend of mine said it is a pity we can't celebrate our 21st birthdays together when our birthdays are so close to each other. Not that I really care about turning 21. But to miss her 21 birthday is another thing. :(

Maybe I need this extra courage to be alone. To be away from all my loved ones.